The Guy Who Drove Jesus Nuts

By Santiago Rodriguez, S.J.

Credit: www.thinkstockphotos.com

The scent of bitterness filled my heart and resentment clouded my mind. I could not take one more minute of his foolishness, and I danced away from a conversation I did not want to continue. It was dark by the time I reached my room and flicking the switch on did not seem to alter my foul mood. I tried to read for a bit, but I found myself replaying the conversation in my mind. I knew it was a waste of energy and I opted for the rest that comes with sleep. I went to bed but sleep did not come easily, for my heart was heavy with anger and my mind was stuck in replay. I was too tired to sweep the floorboards of my brain and to hush the echoes of my heart. Resentment and bitterness invited all their friends and they threw a party at the foot of my bed. I always try to be a good neighbor and let people party, even if it’s late, but after a while it was time to either knock on the door or to call the police. A rushed Hail Mary served as my messenger, and soon the party was over – either my tiredness kicked in or my emotions caved in.

Anne Marie

By Brother Daniel Leckman, S. J .

Four years ago, someone very dear to me passed away. The day she died, as I was heading off to work, rollerblades in tow, Carla, my brother’s girlfriend, saw me heading out. “Where are you going?”, she asked a bit confused. “To work,” I replied sheepishly. “Are you sure that’s such a good idea today? I mean …”, she added. “I have to. I can’t just stay put. I just … I gotta go … see you later,” I said as I took my leave.

I don’t remember the whole rollerblade ride to work. I remember that on my way to work there were many churches and that as I passed each one I would cross myself or say a prayer for those who needed it. I remember listening to music, and enjoying it so much more than usual that day. I think I felt like I was sharing it with my ill, bed-ridden sister a lot more that day. Maybe her spirit was already with me.

When I got to work, I sat down and was ready for whatever God would grant me that day. Was it going to be a full day of work? I knew it probably wasn’t. Still, I wanted it to be. I wanted life to continue. I wanted … a break. My boss knew this was going to be a hard day for me. She and I stepped out for a few minutes. We sat together. She shared with me some of her own experiences: “It’s never easy. You may even feel anger today. Don’t reject those feelings. Don’t be afraid to be emotional.” Suddenly, the phone rang. I knew it was going to be for me. It was only 9 am.